How to Use This Message Board

[Jayne]

Anyone can view the messages on the Jayne's Garden message board, but in order to post, you must be registered.

When posting a message, choose the topic that most closely fits the content of your message and if you are starting a new subject, please select "New Thread" in the upper right corner of the screen. Give your message a meaningful subject line and that will make it easy for everyone to find information they are looking for.

Hope you enjoy your visit and find this a useful medium for sharing information!

[Barbara]

Help Please ! Everytime I log on, I tick the "stay logged in" box but it won't work So I keep having to re-log in

What am I doing wrong?

Barbara

[Jayne]

By default, when you log on, your session will last 350 minutes (almost 7 hours). There is a checkbox on the login page that will set a permanent cookie allowing you to stay logged in longer than this. All you need to do is check the box when you are logging in on the login page. If it isn't working properly, it may be that you have your computer set to not accept cookies. I would check that first.

[Barbara]

Thank you, at least now I understand why LOL. You will find I am not the most computer literate person in the world until I get the hang of a new board. bear with me please

Blessings
Barbara

[Jayne]

After you have logged in with your old password, go to the top of the page where it says "home, help, search, members, calendar, profile, notification, logout." Click on “profile.” This will take you to your profile page. Now you can enter in a new password, as well as update any of the other information in your profile.

[Anonymous]

Jayne,

I find it unfortunate that you have been unable to heal from you past with your previous employer. I do not understand why you have not moved forward and on with you life. You have so much to offer, yet you have chosen for anger against your previous employer to be the motivation. It is said that to heal you must accept and move forward, but you have yet to do either. It is unfortunate that you and your husband have alienated many of you previous friends and for that you blame your previous employer. It is unfortunate that you must keep this painful event in you life alive by the actions of both Roger and yourself. I do applaud you for confronting your previous employer. But I would like to remind you that your words not only hurt them, but those you called your friends and those that have stood by you in silence, hoping for you to achieve your professional and personal goals. I would like to close with a quote that may motivate you to move forward and forgive. Matthew 6:14-15, "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

[Jayne]

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your interesting message. Although you have chosen to remain anonymous, I have a reasonably good idea as to your identity. (I recognize the very distinctive IP address.) I don’t mind that you have chosen to remain anonymous, but I think it would have shown more courage of conviction on your part had you not tried to hide behind the cloak of anonymity. If I have something to say to or about someone, I say it to their face, but if I can’t do that, I at least attach my name to my comments.

You are quite mistaken about my being unable to heal, moving forward, being angry, etc. I am none of these. I have healed, I have moved forward and I have not been angry for a very long time. I’m curious as to what actions of mine you are referring to? The only “action” I know of is the fact that I addressed the City Council this past October, and as I mentioned at the time, the only reason I did so was because with the elections coming up, I recognized that it may have been my only opportunity to address all of my accusers at the same time. Even in that, I was kind. There was a lot more that could have been said that wasn’t. You also mentioned the actions of my husband. May I remind you that we are two separate people and we deal with things in two totally separate ways. Please do not confuse what he says or does with my feelings on the matter. He takes what happened to me very personally and his way of dealing with it is quite different than mine.

I find your comment that my words hurt people rather interesting. I assume you are referring to the statement I read at the Council meeting. The truth does hurt sometimes. But someone being hurt when the truth is spoken is quite different than someone being hurt because he has been lied about and slandered. When you confront someone because they have lied about you, it may very well hurt. Since we’re quoting the Bible here, here is something for you to consider. “Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Even the Bible tells us to confront our friends when they are in the wrong. You can believe what you want about it, but I was not being vengeful, and I am certainly not angry. God has blessed me so much that it would be kind of like being angry about winning the lottery. It would make no sense. No, my friend, I am very happy and looking very much forward to the future and all that it holds, and truly, I do hope the same for you.

As for forgiveness, it is generally granted after someone asks for it. No one has asked me for forgiveness. Had they done so, it surely would have been granted. However, I harbor no grudges, and I think I have been very open about saying that.

If you would like to carry on this conversation publicly, please feel free to do so. If you would like to address me privately, you may email me at [e-mail].

Take care,

~Jayne

[Anonymous]

Jayne,

My “cloak of anonymity” protects more than me. I have considered the others that may be hurt by the revelation of my opinions. I do not understand how my IP address would be distinctive to my identity for this is the first message that I have chosen to address to you. It is unfortunate that you can not understand why I would be unwilling to attach my name to my comments – you should know what actions could be taken with the divulging of any identity.

I am pleased to hear that you have moved forward and that you are no longer angry. I did applaud you for addressing the City Council with your convictions and will also recognize that you were reasonably considerate in your approach. I do admit that, I have been mistaken to have judged your anger based on the actions of your husband. In one way it is extremely valiant as to the approach that your husband has taken to defend you. But his methods are disputable. I would also like to correct my previous post and restate my comment that Rogers “words not only hurt them (your accusers), but those you called your friends and those that have stood by you in silence.” I disagree with your remark, that “being hurt when the truth is spoken is quite different than someone being hurt because he has been lied about and slandered.” They both embrace hurt, pain and grief.

In addition, I simply quoted from the Bible to try and provide direction, not to be deceitful or hypocritical. It is a joy to hear that God has blessed you and that you are looking forward to the future and I do thank you for your wishes of the same. For your opinion that forgiveness is given after someone asks for it; I feel that to forgive someone truly, forgiveness must be given as a gift, not asked for.

Respectfully,

Anonymous

[Jayne]

Dear Anonymous,

To the contrary...your anonymity "protects" no one but yourself. It protectes YOUR identity perhaps, but it makes everyone else suspect. So if you are going to remain anonymous, then I hope you will continue to do it in a way that no one else would feel humiliated by having your comments attributed to THEM! Unless it is a colossal coincidence, your IP address is the same as those used at the City of Monclair. I used to work there, you remember, and was intimately familiar with the numbering scheme for those IP addresses. If you are not using a Montclair computer, then I am mistaken.

In any case, your identity does not matter. As I said, I have moved on and am not particularly interested in discussing the past. You have said what you had to say and seem satisfied with that, and I am only responding because you brought it up.

It is nice to see that you now realize you cannot attribute to me what my husband says or does, and I am glad you made that correction. He is doing what is natural to men to do...defend those they love. I do not tell him what to do or how to do it, though I do encourage him to let it go as well. So far, he has chosen not to, but that is his choice.

As for forgiveness, it is something that happens in a person's heart, and to judge another's heart is clearly wrong. I don't recall the exact verse(s) of scripture at the moment, but you seem to know your Bible, so you should know that.

Since you have visited my message board, may I invite you to visit the rest of my web site? The information I have posted here is as much for you as it is for everyone else. What happened at Montclair was the catalyst for my interest in natural health and wellbeing. Perhaps God has a purpose in mind for bringing you to my web site as well--other than discussing that past, that is. I would also like to personally invite you to attend my health seminar which starts on January 25th. It is a ten-week plus series. As a matter of fact, if you would like to come, I will offer the opportunity to you free of charge. You can get the details on my web site.

~Jayne

"Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers."
3 John 1:2.

P.S. I realize that by coming to my seminar, your anonymity would be compromised (but only to me), however, you haven't said anything to be ashamed of or that gives reason to remain anonymous. You have spoken from your heart and stated your opinion. I have no problem with that at all. So I hope you will give it some consideration. I think you might find the experience worthwhile.

[Jayne]

I would like to add one more comment about forgiveness for those who may be reading this thread. I believe that the act of forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving; not necessarily for the person being forgiven. We know, or at least have strong reason to believe, that stress, anger and even negative thoughts of any type have a detrimental effect on the human body.

I recently experimented with a computerized biofeedback program called FreezeFrame^(R). When the person using the program has a positive attitude and thinks positive thoughts, the graph that is created based upon the person's heartbeat reflects that attitude. But when the person thinks negative thoughts, the line on the chart takes a quick nose-dive reflecting changes in the person's heart rhythm (or continuity). It's quite interesting and it's one more thing that lends credence to the idea that even our thoughts affect our health. So that is why I believe forgiveness is designed primarily for the person doing the forgiving.

I don't think it really means anything to the person being forgiven unless that person has an appreciation for it--something he would not have if he did not believe he did anything wrong that would necessitate it. A person must come to that realization and be able to admit his wrong-doing before there is any possibility he will ask for forgiveness for his actions. When no request has been made, there is no reason to believe that speaking forgiveness to the person will do him any good whatsoever. In fact, speaking forgiveness to such a person might have quite the opposite effect.

So my point here is that forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving and if the person being forgiven asks for forgiveness, it should be granted. If not, there is really no reason or necessity to speak it to him, and prudence might suggest that it is better not to.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1Jn 1:9